So hard to believe that my first born is turning 5 already. What a journey we have been on. Kate made me a mom, she fulfilled a long, hard fought dream that was more than 4 years in the making. She definitely didn't make the journey easy or relaxing but every trial was worth it when she entered my life. Before too much time passes and I forget some details, here is her birth story...
After two miscarriages and 4.5 years of trying to conceive, I found out I was pregnant once again. We had just started looking into the adoption process after 5 rounds of infertility treatments. This was the first month without any infertility help and we in no way thought we would ever get pregnant. Several pregnancy tests plus tons of blood tests, it was confirmed that we were in fact having a baby. However, I didn't hold much hope in the pregnancy and I didn't tell hardly anyone (I think one person at work and two close friends knew; not even our parents knew). My pregnancy was relatively easy - no morning sickness or any other issue. Everything was good at the 7 week (finally a heartbeat) and 11 week ultrasounds. I knew then that I could finally start to enjoy my pregnancy and start telling the world.
At 18 weeks, we had the big ultrasound. I refused to look at the ultrasound as it was happening for fear of something being wrong. Then the tech asked if we wanted to know the sex. Uh, yeah!!!! When I heard I was having a girl, my heart leaped out of my body. As I watched my little Kaitlyn Jane flipping and kicking and doing all sorts of gymnastics, I feel so deeply in love with her that day. A forever, unconditional love.
As the pregnancy moved forward, I became cautious. I knew that problems could arise starting in the third trimester. During our infertility treatments, I was diagnosed with a bicornuate uterus and knew that my baby could run out of room and therefore, come early. I started seeing a perinatologist and all was fine for the time being. I went to Oregon on a girls weekend with college roommates. Was a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding. Then about my 25th week, I went in for a routine weekly OB appointment with my perinatologist. I had started to dilate and was sent immediately to Labor & Delivery to have my labor stopped.
Me the week I delivered in the nursery.
The drugs to stop labor were horrific. I remember my veins burning from the inside throughout my body. Feeling the drugs move through my body was bizarre to say the least. A side effect of those lovely drugs was sleepiness. I think I slept for 2 straight days. I also got steroid shots (2 total) for Kate's lungs to develop just in case I delivered. Those were the most heinous shots I have ever had - I couldn't sit or put any weight on my hips where the shots were given. After all the drugs, I spent two more days in the hospital to see if I continued to dilate (I did not). After four days in the hospital, I was sent home at 26 weeks for the rest of my pregnancy on strict bed rest.
Bed rest was interesting. I lived downstairs because I could only go up and down the stairs once a day. I was allotted a 5 minute shower every other day and was told to drink 110 ounces of water each day. I also was called daily by a nurse to check on my contractions, water intake, any symptoms of labor, kick count, etc.
When all this began, I was still working as a tax accountant and we were in the midst of busy season. Kind of weird to leave your job for short term disability so abruptly (Alan had to go to my office to pack up all my stuff while I laid on the couch). I had planned to work until October 15ish and then take leave (Kate was due on Thanksgiving). The nice thing was that since I was working at the time, I was getting paid my salary for sitting and watching TV and reading. Not a bad gig.
There were some hiccups during my bed rest. My grandmother passed away (obviously I wasn't allowed to go to Utah for the funeral) during this time and it so happened to be when Alan was going to Ohio for his cousin's wedding. So for a week, I had no family in town in case I went into labor. Very scary. Other than that, bed rest went as well as bed rest can go. Very lonely but so very worth it to help my baby grow.
Me on bed rest. Doesn't it look fun.
On October 11th, I saw the perinatologist and everything looked great. No changes and no more dilating. That was a Monday. Thursday, the 14th (exactly 34 weeks along)...I had my usual breakfast but as I got up from the couch, my water broke. Disgusting and weird. I frantically called Alan at work in Walnut Creek (about 30 minutes away) without moving from my spot. Alan rushed home so fast that he actually beat my mom to our house (she only lives 10 minutes away) and I was so petrified to move that I was still in the same spot. We drove back to Walnut Creek - a strategic move on our parts. We could have gone to Vallejo which was closer but with a low level NICU. Walnut Creek had a high level NICU and really, who wants their kid born in Vallejo.
We were set up in an antepartum room to try to stay pregnant as long as possible. One side effect of this is that the doctors don't check your dilation unless they have a need to check. So we settled in for the long haul once again (I was having no contractions). Alan and a friend went to get dinner for us at CPK. As they were eating, I started feeling pain, bearable but definitely got my attention and not regular. The nurse came in and said that they couldn't check me unless I asked for drugs. So as curious as I am, I asked for some in the IV (which I never got but really I didn't want anyways). They checked me and low and behold, I was at a 10, ready to push after a good 2 or 3 contractions. If I would have known what I know today, I would have never pushed at this point but oh well. It was 7:30pm and I started pushing and pushing and pushing. Every push, the nurse told me I needed to push one more time and Kate would be born. This went on for 2 long hours. Finally, I gave up and asked for help to deliver her. Soon after and one small push, Kate was born at 10:02 pm. She weighed a huge 6 lbs 3 oz. (remember she was 6 weeks early) and was 18.5 inches long.
The labor room was not like most since Kate was 6 weeks early - there was probably 20 doctors and nurses in the room ready to act the second she was born. I only got to hold her for a second before she was whisked away to be worked on and then to the NICU with Alan. I remember anxiously waiting for her cry and feeling relief when she finally did. And then she and Alan were off. I was left in the labor room to recover. I remember laying there feeling so happy but so alone. Angry that I didn't get to be with my new family as a family and worried that things were going wrong and no one was there for me. Finally, four hours later, I held my baby girl in the NICU.
The first time holding Kate in the NICU.
Thank you baby girl for picking us as your parents and for finally making me a mom. I will be eternally grateful to you for your precious gift of motherhood. Also, thank you for fighting for your life and for your stubbornness from the get-go. I love you!!!
Coming up...the NICU stay and Kate through the years, a celebration of the last 5 years.
