Shake, Rattle, and Roll...

So as some of you have heard, little ole FF had its taste of the Bay Area's infamous earth moving. Yes, we had a 3.9 earthquake last night at 7:30 and the epicenter was in Green Valley (a west end of FF for those of you that don't know). I was at YW and it definitely felt like a Mack truck had hit the Stake Center. Just one large jolt and then it was over. No big deal.

As a kid growing up here, I was always mad when I would come home from school to find out there was an earthquake and I didn't feel it. What a let down! So when I feel an earthquake, I am sort of in awe - grateful to be safe but also reminded that I am not necessarily in control of everything around me.

I remember the 1989 quake. Very scary because I had never felt an earthquake so strong and for so long before (and still haven't). I remember watching at soccer game at FF High (FF vs. Armijo). A mom was yelling at her kid to stop shaking her seat. And then we all realized what was happening. I remember that you could visibly see the earth rolling. It felt like it was never going to stop. I am sure that it didn't last too long but at the time, it felt like an eternity. I remember watching all the destruction on TV, all the commuters trapped on the Nimitz Freeway. I remember watching the old Embarcadero slowly get torn down (it used to be a raised freeway, not on the water like it is today). I especially remember a month later when the Bay Bridge reopened (a portion of the upper level westbound lanes had fallen on the lower eastbound part). A group of friends and I skipped school to go to the reopening. We walked the bridge to the fallen portion and then turned back. The cool thing was that we each got to sign a Botts Dot (the white plastic dots in between the lanes). At the time, a very cool experience.

Even after the quake, I still yearned to live and/or work in SF. I love the City and so after college, started my job in the City. I never worried (I wondered but never worried) about earthquakes for the 9 years I worked there. Even riding BART, I never worried about what would happen if a major earthquake hit. Why, I am not quite sure. I look back now and think what would I have done. I mean BART is safe in the Transbay Tube (it's in the bedrock of the ocean) but what about all the elevated portions of BART from SF to Walnut Creek. When I started working, I worked on the 36th floor at One Market and not once did I wonder what would happen. Most of the buildings are on rollers so they move with the earth but in '89, parts of SF were destroyed because a lot of SF is built on sand, not so good when the earth moves.

One thing I am not so sure of anymore, is what you are suppose to do in an earthquake. I was always taught to get in a solid doorway or under furniture ("duck and cover"). But I got an email last week, saying that was not true anymore. That you should get in the fetal position and get next to to a large bulky object (like a sofa or desk). I guess that it will compress slightly but leave a void next to it. The guy called it the "triangle of life". What have you all heard? Did the rules change? Both make sense but not sure which is right.

BTW, don't anyone have a heart attack seeing that I have posted twice in less than a week. I am really trying hard.

I AM ALIVE...barely!!!

Okay, I am finally going to post something. Nothing great but it is something. Matt is in the bathtub and Kate is watching cartoons before we head over to Jenni's for dinner. So I thought why not post a little something for all you to know that I am alive and I have some plans for posting (and hopefully soon). I keep telling myself that I will be better at this but I would much rather read yours than write on mine. I guess you are all much more interesting than I but I will try to be better.

Alan left yesterday for his bike ride for AIDS/Lifecycle. He and a bunch of guys from work are riding their bikes from San Francisco to LA. Alan is only going to Paso Robles because he is taking pictures for a friend's nanny's wedding on Saturday so he is coming home on Tuesday night. Today, they rode from SF to Santa Cruz in less than 8 hours. A little too much time on the bike if you ask me but Alan loves to ride and we are so proud of him. A little 4th grade girl at Barnes & Noble summed it up for me when she said that riding that long would be 1) boring and 2) how she would hate that her butt would hurt so bad each day. Basically, how I feel. Not sure I could ride my bike for 8 hours straight but it would be great to see California from a bike.

So since Alan left, I decided to take the kids out to dinner and then to Barnes & Noble - one of Kate's favorite things to do. First we were going to go to Red Brick Pizza by the mall (great place for kids because most of the tables have TV). Well, they were closed for repairs. Now try to explain that to a 3 year old. Didn't go over well at all. We went to Mary's Pizza Shack instead and still had great pizza. Then off to Barnes for books and magazines and a try at getting rice crispie treats. For some reason Starbucks' rice crispie treats have visible marshmellows in them and so Kate won't eat them because that represents sugar (which she refuses to eat). Anyway, we played at the train table and got some books and off to home. So a first day/night alone not so bad. As you can tell, I don't do well being at home by myself. All power to those that have to be alone a lot. Definitely hard.

Well Matt is crying so I guess I am alive and I hope to post again soon. I'm out!

30+ Going on 13 or So....

So I had a lapse in judgment last week while at the park. I don't really know what I was thinking except that how hard could a "flip" be to do on the bars. You know that thing we all did in elementary school on the bars. I use to be able to twirl around the bars non-stop for quite a while. I mean when I was 11 or 12. So really how hard could it be to do a couple of times in your 30s. Well the answer to that is...

Very easy to do but man do you pay for it afterwards.

My brother and his family were visiting last week from AZ. On Thursday, after Kate got out of school, we went to the park so the kids could "geo-cache" (look for hidden candy using GPS). At lunch, my brother, Eric, said that he climbed the tree in the front yard to show his oldest son that he could do it. Okay, I am competitive so I thought I can do something also. So at the park my chance came. I was talking to my niece, who is 11, at the bars. And all the sudden the thought popped in my head, that I should try to do the flip thing I use to do. What a cool aunt that is shameless enough to embarrass herself and prove that she can still do it!! Well there I go. Not easy getting up on the bar but not once, I have to do it twice. (And for some reason I forgot that half the ward was at the park that day - well not half but 2 ladies and some from 3rd ward). Megan, my niece, I hope was impressed.

Because, that night and since then, I have felt like I got in a car wreck and have whiplash. My neck is killing me. So note to self for all you daredevils, the flip on the bar is probably not the best way to show your niece or kids that you are cool no matter what shape you are in.

My only regret is that I have no proof to show that I did it. Oh well. Maybe next time I feel a sudden lapse of judgement coming on.

Waiting to Exhale! (Long Post...Sorry!!)

Sorry ahead of time for the long post but I have told myself I will write this down....

For about the last year, our lives and especially Matt's have been in limbo. Waiting for answers, waiting to exhale and enjoy life with no uncertainties, no specialists, no therapists.

As some of you know, almost exactly a year ago, I sat in the Kaiser PICU (pediatric ICU) in Oakland watching and waiting as Matt was in the hospital for the third time in his short little life of 6 weeks. Matt had pneumonia for the 2nd time, a staph infection and was fighting for his life. A myriad of doctors and specialists were trying to figure out why he kept getting sick. Every morning, while at the PICU, I would make sure to arrive before 9am so that I could participate in doctor's rounds at Matt's bedside. For some of you, you know that 1) I am not a great morning person and 2) I am never (and I mean never) on time. But in this case I was always there, anxious to hear what the latest theories were and always ready with my questions.

One morning, the theory was cystic fibrosis. I was taken aback when the pulmonologist just flippantly suggested that Matt had cystic fibrosis. I was in tears. Not only is it hard to hear your child has a lifelong disease but being in the circumstances that we were in, plus hearing that kind of news without your spouse is a bit overwhelming. And don't we get tested for CF during pregnancy - I know not all tests are accurate but I swore I was not a carrier. Couldn't the pulmonologist check my records before suggesting such a thing. Anyways, I was traumatized but the next morning, CF was off the list of possibilities. RELIEF!!

After the specialist had eliminated most genetic disease and such, the only focus was anatomy issues. However, no tests could be performed until Matt was basically breathing on his own. So we waited and waited for 2 weeks for Matt to get off the respirator, then the CPAP, then the cannulas, etc. Probably the longest and hardest two weeks of my life thus far. Finally, at the beginning of Feb. 2007, the tests were performed - a swallow study, a barium swallow test, a pH balance study, xrays, ultrasounds, CT scans, neurological studies, etc. A lot of tests and studies for our little guy.

One day, during all the tests, Dr. Hayward, Matt's neurologist, came to examine Matt. After a 5-10 minute examination, she gave me her thoughts. "Matt possibly has Cerebral Palsy from not breathing but we won't know for sure for 6 months!" she said. And then just as quickly as she said it, she left his room for a meeting. WHAT! You are going to launch this on me (again, I am alone at the hospital because Alan was at work) and then not stay to discuss it with me or make sure I was okay. I was understandably beyond devastated. How do you deal with this? What is going to happen to our lives and to Matt and to Kate? I just got over the CF diagnosis and now CP. I knew nothing about CP except the picture in my head of a child in a wheelchair that is very tense. Needless to say, Dr. Hayward was not my favorite doctor.

Immediately, I called Alan. He did some research and then got to the hospital as quickly as possible. Come to find out, CP is an injury to the brain and the results can differ from mild to severe. And according to Dr. Hayward (a day later), most likely Matt's would either be mild or nothing. So I thought maybe I could handle this! I mean I had no choice at that point - Matt is my baby boy and we will do what is necessary to help him. But first we had to deal with his pneumonia issues.

After a million (it seemed) tests, Matt was finally diagnosed with severe acid reflux. So severe that his esophagus had stomach acid in it constantly and no medicine was going to help the problem. Our only option was surgery ASAP - like found out late Tuesday night and surgery was scheduled for Thursday. Surgery went well and Matt had a feeding port in his stomach to vent the gas (he can't really burp or throw up now because of the surgery). BTW, the feeding port was taken out in April after being in for 8 weeks. Hurray!!

Back to the CP thing, so off to specialists and therapists and such. At one time, we were seeing 2 speech therapists, an occupational therapist and a physical therapist plus the surgeon, a pulmonologist, a gastroenterologist, and the neurologist. Some in Oakland, one in Fremont, some in Vallejo, and some in Fairfield. We waited and watched to see how Matt would respond. Things we thought were cute, like the ability to hold his head up early, were signs of rigidness and possible CP per the specialists. It was very exhausting, both emotionally and physically.

However, the light at the end of the tunnel, in our minds, was 6 months and it was getting closer. At that time, we were actually getting rid of specialists (done with the surgeon, the gastro dr., and 1 speech therapist). So when our June appointment came with Dr. Hayward. I remember being anxious and scared, thinking this could be it, but also hopeful because things were going well. At that appointment, though, we found out that we would have to wait to see if Matt would miss any milestones or not walk in order to do the MRI that would diagnose him. WHAT!!!! More time to wait, more therapists. I couldn't believe it. There was no way I could sit in limbo for another 6 months but again, I had no choice!

So after months of therapists and working with Matt to catch up (oh and a 12 month appointment with Dr. Hayward that continually got changed), Matt and I were to meet with her on February 12th at a NICU follow-up appointment. Matt had started walking and his therapists were very pleased with his progress (but no one would rule out CP still). So February 12th was here....

And just as swiftly as Dr. Hayward announced that Matt may have CP, she swooped into the exam room and determined he did NOT have CP (in a matter of minutes) and we were released from her care. So that's when I....
Exhaled...and Breathed a SIGH of relief!!

Now Matt can be a normal little toddler but with an extra little belly button. A scar to remind us and him how precious life is and what we have been through in the last year.

Matt - My Baby No More

Just a quick post to wish Matt a Happy 1st Birthday. I will try to post a longer post about Matt today but just in case (today is pretty jam packed)....

Matt - Happy Birthday!! You entered our family quickly and unexpected at 12:31am today. I love you dearly and I already miss you being a baby.

Love, Mom

Black Friday - The Experience

So, I attempted Black Friday for the first time. Yes, kind of weird since I love shopping but in recent years with having both Kate and Matt, I have turned to internet shopping. Well, I guess I do internet shopping throughout the year and probably 80% of my shopping is off the internet. But that is besides the point. Back to Black Friday....

My friend, Jenni, asked me to come along on her Black Friday excursion. Unfortunately, that meant leaving my house at 4:30am (which meant getting up at 3:50am to get ready). So Jenni, our other friend, Amy, and I set out for our day of shopping at 4:30ish (come on, we're Mormon and we are never on time). First stop, Starbucks for peppermint hot chocolate - thank you Starbucks for opening at 4:30 every morning. Then on to Toys R Us in Concord since it opened at 5am. The lines were crazy but not the frenzy that I had imagined. In my head, I was picturing moms pushing and grabbing for the toys but not so - thank goodness. I have to say, I am not sure why people wake up their little kids to go to the sales - saw this a lot and the kids looked miserable. After Toys R Us and a hefty portion of shopping done and oh, a stop at the car to get rid of our loot, we headed next door to Target. More good shopping and I have to say that I am now almost done with Kate and Matt for Christmas and Matt for his birthday.

All in all, we went to Toys R Us, Target, Old Navy, REI, Michaels, a scrapbooking store, Right Start and Broadway Plaza in Walnut Creek. We were shopping literally from about 5:15am until 4pm, with a stop at CPK for lunch. I had a blast and it was great spending time with my girls - too much fun. And when we got home, we had to have Alan take pictures of our day's loot (now I have to say that by the end, we were starting to wonder where all the stuff was going to go and if it would all be in the car after we got it from valet in Walnut Creek - all was good). So here are the pics....

Here is the back of Jenni's car with all our loot purchased by 3 woman for our collective 7 kids and other odds and ends.

Side view of the car. The back seat had enough room for Amy; the other seat was full of bags.

The three shoppers after a long, hard, productive day. Don't we look tired - especially me.

Well, as a side note, after all that shopping, my body decided to go crazy and I ended up with a migraine-like headache soon after getting home. So bad that my dad and Alan had to give me a blessing so that I could sleep. And sleep I did for the next 12 hours.

But all in all, I had a blast and I can't wait to do it again next year. Maybe I won't be such a whiner next time.

I WAS TAGGED (a long time ago)

I was tagged quite awhile ago so now the slacker that I am, I am finally go to do these...

I was tagged by Jenni (http://hootieshowl.blogspot.com/) ...she is a very talented scrapbooker so check out her great layouts (hey, she is even getting me into the scrapbooking thing). Also I was tagged by Kristin (http://kristin-partylikearockstar.blogspot.com/) ...we have been friends for over 15 years now and she is a rocking rock climber so also check her out.

Anyway, here are 7 random facts about me....

1. I love breakfast food. I could eat breakfast for every meal. But I can't stand eggs and dry heave at the smell of them.

2. I live in a perpetually world of organized chaos. Our downstairs always looks organized but our office is a total mess. Yet I could find anything I need in the office.

3. I cannot throw away a magazine unless I have read it from cover to cover (I have the same issue with newspapers and catalogs too). I have magazines from 2002 probably in a box waiting for me to read. I did throw away a lot of magazines while I was pumping with Matt since I read about 3 or so magazines a day while I was pumping.

4. Now this is something that most people don't know unless you went to college with me...My nickname in college was and still is to this day EZ. I was nicknamed after the rapper Easy E. My old roommate's entire family still calls me EZ.

5. I am obsessed with spelling. I love to find spelling errors in newspapers or magazines. I don't know why but it seems so funny to have a misspell in a newspaper...don't they use spell check plus it's a newspaper for crying out loud.

6. I can't remember any lines from any movie I have ever seen. Alan is great at remembering that stuff but me, I couldn't hardly tell you about the movie long after I have seen it. I guess I just few movies/TV as forms of entertainment and so my brain is turned off when I am watching.

7. Like Kristin (above), I cannot stand to have my fingernails painted. But I love to paint my toe nails and I do feel kind of naked when they are not painted. Unfortunately, since Matt was born, they do not get painted regularly. Something I definitely need to start up again plus Kate loves to have her toes painted.


I also got tagged by Shaina so here goes that one (BTW, this was quite difficult because my memory sucks)...

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
It was 1997 and I was working in San Francisco (pretty boring life)...
1. Moving to the other side of Walnut Creek for cheaper rent
2. Working 70-90 hour weeks working for Arthur Andersen as a tax consultant
3. Spending more time with my newly relocated brothers and their families, especially the kids
4. Taking a trip with Kristin (above) to NYC and DC (so much fun and such great memories)
5. Eating lunch everyday with my work friend, Kathy, whom I still keep in touch with

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. Go to Target
2. Take Kate to the park
3. Catch up on emails
4. Go through bags of clothes to donate to DI
5. Go to a Homemade Gourmet party at Amy's

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Diet Coke
2. Ice Cream
3. 100 Grand Bars
4. Genisoy Chocolate Mint bars
5. Chips and salsa

5 songs I know the lyrics to:
1. Most primary songs because I sing them every night
....Without the song playing....no other song - one of the things that I am really bad about but I can't remember words to songs to save my life. But if the song is on...
2. Most Linkin Park songs
3. Most boy band songs
4. Bibidee Bopadee Boo from one of the Cinderella movies (that is just because I hear it so often but Kate loves to have "dance party" to this song
5. Can't think of any more but I am sure there are more

5 of my bad habits:
1. I pick at my cuticles on my fingernails
2. A little OCD but I have to check all the doors every night to be sure that they are locked (even if Alan checked them)
3. I obsess about losing weight but I am too lazy to be on a diet
4. I am a procrastinator and therefore my office is always a disaster
5. I am always late, no matter how hard I try

5 things I'd do if I were a millionaire:
1. Put away enough for our kids' college
2. Build and design my dream house
3. Tithing, of course
4. Help my family members out with expenses
5. Save and invest the rest after a good shopping spree

5 things I will never wear again:
1. Spandex - as Alan says..it is a privilege not a right
2. Pegged pants (never wore reverse fit but did peg pants myself back in the day)
3. Not really wearing but I will never perm my hair again
4. Denim shirt
5. Faded or white washed jeans

5 of my favorite toys:
1. My iPhone
2. TIVO
3. My straightener
4. Internet
5. Jewelry

Now I am not going to tag anyone specifically but challenge all those who haven't done one or the other or both to do them on your blog. Great getting to know all you better. Happy Blogging for the day!!!!

Kate's Birthday Party

Last week was Kate's birthday and hence, also her birthday party. I always waffle between whether to have a party or not. Some friends and family do not do parties for their young kids but then others do so what do you do. I guess this year I felt Kate deserved a party for all the inattention she has had to endure this year with all of Matt's issues. She has been a trooper this year and this party, to me, was her prize or reward for being such a great little girl. Okay, well back to the party....since Kate's birthday is in October, she decided she wanted a Halloween party, not a Princess Party like I expected. You know 3 year olds, always keeping you on your toes.

As we have never really decorated for Halloween, we had to buy a bunch of decorations and also, me being me, I had to attempt to be crafty, which I am not. You know sometimes I feel the pressure to be crafty and usually it hits will someone's birthday. So here are my crafts:

I made the little haunted house (3 tissue boxes, some tissue paper, black spray paint, gray craft paint, and styrofoam ghosts). I thought it turned out cute!

The other crafty thing I did was glitter a bunch of bones and a skull. This was easy but very time taking. This display was on our island with the food.

I had a lot more crafts and food concotions I wanted to try but Alan was out of town that week from Tuesday night until late Friday afternoon so I decided to drop some of the decorations. All in all the decorations were enough and the food was good (we had soup and chili plus cornbread and breadsticks; also had mac n cheese and mummy wraps for the kids).

One of the activities for the party was a jumphouse (very worried about the weather all week because it was forecast to possibly rain that day). We have never done this before but it was the best money we have ever spent. The kids had a blast and my house stayed relatively clean. We also decorated pumpkins with foam stickers as the favor - great fun!!

Kate and Alan and her cake before everyone started to sing Happy Birthday!! Look how excited and happy she looks....

And this is her after the singing began. She actually started crying and freaking out. It's not like we don't sing Happy Birthday at home constantly because believe me we do. Oh well. My shy little girl had a great birthday and great friends and family to spend it with. Thanks all that are part of Kate's life.

My Little Princess.....

is 3 years old today!!!! I can't believe that it has been three entire years of her love, laughter and the occassional (well, not so occassional) tantrums. We had a Halloween party for her yesterday, which I will post about later. Today, I want to post a little photo memory of her first 3 years....

First time I held Kate - about 5 hours after she was born. All the nurses commented on how she got my red hair, except Kate's was real and mine was just done at the salon the day before!!!

Kate at 7 months

Kate at her 1st Birthday Party

Kate at 18 months on Easter 2006

Kate at 2 years old - showing her love of bags and not just one .

Kate at 2.5 years old at the "glass slipper ball". She is wearing my red wedges, which she has deemed her glass slippers.

Kate a month shy of 3 years old on her first day in preschool.

Kate, Thank you so much for coming into our family and my life. You are such a great little person and so full of life. I love you to pieces, my little princess. Love, Mommy

I AM FINALLY GOING TO START POSTING....

I have now had this blog for 18 months and have a posted on it yet...NO!!! Everyday, I think about posting but something comes up, mostly getting sucked into reading other blogs. So now I am going to start, I hope...

First off, a little about my humble and seemingly normal life. I am a mom to two preemies. Kate is almost 3 and was born 6 weeks early (after a near delivery at 26 weeks, resulting in 8 weeks of lovely bedrest for me). As a side note, I was working at the time and so I did get paid for all 8 weeks of watching TV and reading magazines, not a bad deal. Well we thought Kate was a handful...her brother decided to show her up. Matt is 9 months old now but he decided to show up a little over 8 weeks early. Matt spent 9 weeks in the hospital fighting pneumonia induced by aspirating on milk. He is our little trooper and has kept a smile on his face the entire time. I am also a wife to a great man, Alan, who so lovingly goes to work every day so that I can stay home and spend the money. Thanks babe!!!

Prior to mommyhood, I worked in the accounting industry doing taxes and estate planning for high wealth individuals - first at Arthur Andersen and then at HSBC - for 9 years. I loved what I did and also working in San Francisco and do miss working, well really, I miss the social life and the shopping.

Currently, I am dealing with potty training (still after 3 months), Kate starting preschool, tons of physical therapy for Matt (possibility of Matt having cerebal palsy from all his complications) and also speech therapy for Matt for supposed oral aversion, and also trying to have a social life myself and lose this freaking baby weight once and for all.

So this is my life in a nut shell. Not glamorous by any means but eventful for sure....So enjoy our journey!!