Backtrack- Beginning of Preschool

So I want to use my blog as some sort of journal. And as you all know, I am terrible at keeping up with the blog thing so I am even more terrible at keeping a journal (as if in never). So for a time there will be "Backtrack" entries to catch up this year's happenings. I am sorry if this is boring or not very current but I need to write this stuff done before it gets too far away. So bear with me....

Today, I am backtracking to Kate's start of year 2 of prschool. Just a photo and an art project that I did for her for back to school night. I have to say that I am not very creative or artsy. I wish I was but I am sort of proud of my little "Intro to Kate" pendant.

Kate's first day of school.  She was so excited for school to start and be in the 4 year old class and also to be able to go 3 days a week. I was very excited about that, too.  She loves school but she is a perfectionist who is discouraged when she can't get something just perfect. We have to work on that. I just can't believe how big she has gotten and how much she has grown up in the last year.  By the way, the bracelets were always with her (sleeping and awake) for awhile. She would even wake up during the night to make sure she had her bracelets. Now they sit in her Cinderella treasure chest so she doesn't lose them. 

The pendant I made for Kate's back to school night. I forgot about this until the day off. It was suppose to be all about Kate and things she likes - castles, princesses, butterflies. You can't tell but some of the butterflies are raised off the paper as if they just landed on the paper (a little 3D action).  Below is a close up.

More on the "backtrack" agenda - Disneyland, LA wedding, Kate's bday party, Halloween, another art project, trip to Ohio, summer highlights, remodeling at its finest, some cooking adventures and so much more (and not in that order).  So stay tune and thanks for reading. Love ya all!!!!

We Are Off...

To Disneyland for the second time this year. So excited and so tired and still sick but we are going to have a blast! Kate is super excited and Matt, well, he is still oblivious to all of this. As long as you feed him, he is good with about anything.  Will report back in the next week or so (most likely after Halloween)! Have a great week all!!

To Kate

Happy Birthday, my little bug!! I can't believe that it has been four years. You are growing up so fast and I love every (well, most) minute I am with you!! You are a joy and an awesome answer to my prayers. Thank you for blessing our family and thank you for being you - even with all the drama! I love you forever and always. You are my little baby girl afterall! 

Love Mommy

PS Sorry about the pic. It is the only one I have right now since our PC is not working and Alan is never home to fix it. So I am left with iPhone pics downloads onto my Mac.  One of the many reasons I have put off posting in the first place - that and planning Kate's birthday party.

Quick Update - I AM ALIVE!!!!

Life has been crazy busy with going to Ohio for two weeks, Alan changing jobs and then traveling for said new job a bunch, preschool, but especially Young Womens and a wedding.

Back in April, I was called to be the 1st counselor in YW and it has been kicking my butt ever since. I loved being the secretary in YW (my old calling) - such a cush calling and no real responsibility plus it is detail and computer oriented (right up my alley). This new calling is so different. Planning activities, dealing with teenage problems (and it is drama all the time), lessons, having my advisor moving, etc. Plus for a while there, Alan was YM 1st counselor so both of us had to be at church on Tuesdays - can we say coordination nightmare. So anyways, for the last few weeks, I have been working on the etiquette dinner with Jenni. A fun activity but a lot of info to deal with. Jenni did the invitation (totally cute) and coordinating the participates. I was in charge of the handout and the quiz. Lots of info and unfortunately the dinner is on Tuesday but I am gone this weekend.

Yes, I am leaving in an hour to go to LA for a friend/co-worker's wedding. 2 ex co-workers and I are going together - no husbands, no kids. Super excited. It is at the Ritz in Marina del Rey. I will have to post pics when I get back. Tonight is a Chinese banquet and then Saturday night is the wedding. So fancy (so for me, a little stressful finding the right outfits and accessories). So after 7 or so dresses bought and 6 returned, this is what I am wearing to the wedding itself (in brown):

Not sure what I am wearing tonight since dress code is "spiffy sportswear". Not sure what that means or how to dress. What do you think...trouser jeans okay with heels?

Have a good weekend all!

Recipes for Cheesecake

Here are the vanilla bean cheesecake recipe and raspberry coulis sauce recipe. For the cheesecake crust, I used crushed shortbread cookies and melted butter. Enjoy!!!

BTW, it was brought up to me that it was not my brother that requested blueberries so I am not sure why I made it.

I will try to find the blueberry cheesecake recipe.

Patty Cake Patty Cake, Baker's Woman...

So most of you know that I do not cook. Well, I cook but I am not the fondest of cooking and I would much rather have someone cook for me. But I do love to make dessert every once in a while. I usually have to have a reason though - I mean, come on, I am still trying to lose weight and I am not good at saying no to sweets, especially ice cream.

Back on point...for family birthdays/events we usually get together for dinner. Assignments for food are given and inevitably, I am usually told "bring your own meat to BBQ, bring a green salad or veggie, and some ice cream." Seriously, I feel like no one thinks that I can cook. I never said I couldn't cook just that I am not the fondest of it. No matter how many times I feel like I prove myself, I am rarely assigned to cook anything.

So finally at Easter, I said something again. My brother, Eric, and his family were in town and I just wanted to cook something. So I got assigned dessert. No dessert in my family is not easy. I'm not a fan of fruit and my dad and some brothers are no chocolate eaters. BTW, who doesn't like a good piece of chocolate? So what to make for dessert under these parameters...

Well, instead of one dessert, I decide on two. First, sugar cookies for the kids and no fruit eaters (yes, I made them from scratch and of course, shaped for Easter). Now the adult dessert, I decided to try and make cheesecake from scratch (no mixes), even the crust was from scratch. After searching for quite a while through all my recipe books (now I may not cook a lot but I do like to buy recipe books. Weird, I know.), I decided on a blueberry lemon cheesecake. Eric said that he liked blueberries so since he was visiting that decided it.

I have to say, the thought of making cheesecake is a little stressful. But actually, it is not that hard. Just takes forever to cook (like 3 hours). So here is the final product, my first cheesecake...

It's a shortbread crust with lemon cheesecake and then blueberries are plunged inside the cheesecake and also on top. I know it's not the greatest (or any) styling but you get the picture. I've determined that I need a cake stand also.

So after that success! I was assigned once again to dessert for my brother, Jeff's 40th birthday dinner. Cheesecake again. Just can't get enough. This time I made vanilla bean cheesecake with a shortbread crust and a homemade raspberry sauce for fruit lovers and chocolate sauce for me.

My next attempt will be a strawberry and cream cheesecake that looks divine. I will keep you posted.

Shake, Rattle, and Roll...

So as some of you have heard, little ole FF had its taste of the Bay Area's infamous earth moving. Yes, we had a 3.9 earthquake last night at 7:30 and the epicenter was in Green Valley (a west end of FF for those of you that don't know). I was at YW and it definitely felt like a Mack truck had hit the Stake Center. Just one large jolt and then it was over. No big deal.

As a kid growing up here, I was always mad when I would come home from school to find out there was an earthquake and I didn't feel it. What a let down! So when I feel an earthquake, I am sort of in awe - grateful to be safe but also reminded that I am not necessarily in control of everything around me.

I remember the 1989 quake. Very scary because I had never felt an earthquake so strong and for so long before (and still haven't). I remember watching at soccer game at FF High (FF vs. Armijo). A mom was yelling at her kid to stop shaking her seat. And then we all realized what was happening. I remember that you could visibly see the earth rolling. It felt like it was never going to stop. I am sure that it didn't last too long but at the time, it felt like an eternity. I remember watching all the destruction on TV, all the commuters trapped on the Nimitz Freeway. I remember watching the old Embarcadero slowly get torn down (it used to be a raised freeway, not on the water like it is today). I especially remember a month later when the Bay Bridge reopened (a portion of the upper level westbound lanes had fallen on the lower eastbound part). A group of friends and I skipped school to go to the reopening. We walked the bridge to the fallen portion and then turned back. The cool thing was that we each got to sign a Botts Dot (the white plastic dots in between the lanes). At the time, a very cool experience.

Even after the quake, I still yearned to live and/or work in SF. I love the City and so after college, started my job in the City. I never worried (I wondered but never worried) about earthquakes for the 9 years I worked there. Even riding BART, I never worried about what would happen if a major earthquake hit. Why, I am not quite sure. I look back now and think what would I have done. I mean BART is safe in the Transbay Tube (it's in the bedrock of the ocean) but what about all the elevated portions of BART from SF to Walnut Creek. When I started working, I worked on the 36th floor at One Market and not once did I wonder what would happen. Most of the buildings are on rollers so they move with the earth but in '89, parts of SF were destroyed because a lot of SF is built on sand, not so good when the earth moves.

One thing I am not so sure of anymore, is what you are suppose to do in an earthquake. I was always taught to get in a solid doorway or under furniture ("duck and cover"). But I got an email last week, saying that was not true anymore. That you should get in the fetal position and get next to to a large bulky object (like a sofa or desk). I guess that it will compress slightly but leave a void next to it. The guy called it the "triangle of life". What have you all heard? Did the rules change? Both make sense but not sure which is right.

BTW, don't anyone have a heart attack seeing that I have posted twice in less than a week. I am really trying hard.

I AM ALIVE...barely!!!

Okay, I am finally going to post something. Nothing great but it is something. Matt is in the bathtub and Kate is watching cartoons before we head over to Jenni's for dinner. So I thought why not post a little something for all you to know that I am alive and I have some plans for posting (and hopefully soon). I keep telling myself that I will be better at this but I would much rather read yours than write on mine. I guess you are all much more interesting than I but I will try to be better.

Alan left yesterday for his bike ride for AIDS/Lifecycle. He and a bunch of guys from work are riding their bikes from San Francisco to LA. Alan is only going to Paso Robles because he is taking pictures for a friend's nanny's wedding on Saturday so he is coming home on Tuesday night. Today, they rode from SF to Santa Cruz in less than 8 hours. A little too much time on the bike if you ask me but Alan loves to ride and we are so proud of him. A little 4th grade girl at Barnes & Noble summed it up for me when she said that riding that long would be 1) boring and 2) how she would hate that her butt would hurt so bad each day. Basically, how I feel. Not sure I could ride my bike for 8 hours straight but it would be great to see California from a bike.

So since Alan left, I decided to take the kids out to dinner and then to Barnes & Noble - one of Kate's favorite things to do. First we were going to go to Red Brick Pizza by the mall (great place for kids because most of the tables have TV). Well, they were closed for repairs. Now try to explain that to a 3 year old. Didn't go over well at all. We went to Mary's Pizza Shack instead and still had great pizza. Then off to Barnes for books and magazines and a try at getting rice crispie treats. For some reason Starbucks' rice crispie treats have visible marshmellows in them and so Kate won't eat them because that represents sugar (which she refuses to eat). Anyway, we played at the train table and got some books and off to home. So a first day/night alone not so bad. As you can tell, I don't do well being at home by myself. All power to those that have to be alone a lot. Definitely hard.

Well Matt is crying so I guess I am alive and I hope to post again soon. I'm out!

30+ Going on 13 or So....

So I had a lapse in judgment last week while at the park. I don't really know what I was thinking except that how hard could a "flip" be to do on the bars. You know that thing we all did in elementary school on the bars. I use to be able to twirl around the bars non-stop for quite a while. I mean when I was 11 or 12. So really how hard could it be to do a couple of times in your 30s. Well the answer to that is...

Very easy to do but man do you pay for it afterwards.

My brother and his family were visiting last week from AZ. On Thursday, after Kate got out of school, we went to the park so the kids could "geo-cache" (look for hidden candy using GPS). At lunch, my brother, Eric, said that he climbed the tree in the front yard to show his oldest son that he could do it. Okay, I am competitive so I thought I can do something also. So at the park my chance came. I was talking to my niece, who is 11, at the bars. And all the sudden the thought popped in my head, that I should try to do the flip thing I use to do. What a cool aunt that is shameless enough to embarrass herself and prove that she can still do it!! Well there I go. Not easy getting up on the bar but not once, I have to do it twice. (And for some reason I forgot that half the ward was at the park that day - well not half but 2 ladies and some from 3rd ward). Megan, my niece, I hope was impressed.

Because, that night and since then, I have felt like I got in a car wreck and have whiplash. My neck is killing me. So note to self for all you daredevils, the flip on the bar is probably not the best way to show your niece or kids that you are cool no matter what shape you are in.

My only regret is that I have no proof to show that I did it. Oh well. Maybe next time I feel a sudden lapse of judgement coming on.

Waiting to Exhale! (Long Post...Sorry!!)

Sorry ahead of time for the long post but I have told myself I will write this down....

For about the last year, our lives and especially Matt's have been in limbo. Waiting for answers, waiting to exhale and enjoy life with no uncertainties, no specialists, no therapists.

As some of you know, almost exactly a year ago, I sat in the Kaiser PICU (pediatric ICU) in Oakland watching and waiting as Matt was in the hospital for the third time in his short little life of 6 weeks. Matt had pneumonia for the 2nd time, a staph infection and was fighting for his life. A myriad of doctors and specialists were trying to figure out why he kept getting sick. Every morning, while at the PICU, I would make sure to arrive before 9am so that I could participate in doctor's rounds at Matt's bedside. For some of you, you know that 1) I am not a great morning person and 2) I am never (and I mean never) on time. But in this case I was always there, anxious to hear what the latest theories were and always ready with my questions.

One morning, the theory was cystic fibrosis. I was taken aback when the pulmonologist just flippantly suggested that Matt had cystic fibrosis. I was in tears. Not only is it hard to hear your child has a lifelong disease but being in the circumstances that we were in, plus hearing that kind of news without your spouse is a bit overwhelming. And don't we get tested for CF during pregnancy - I know not all tests are accurate but I swore I was not a carrier. Couldn't the pulmonologist check my records before suggesting such a thing. Anyways, I was traumatized but the next morning, CF was off the list of possibilities. RELIEF!!

After the specialist had eliminated most genetic disease and such, the only focus was anatomy issues. However, no tests could be performed until Matt was basically breathing on his own. So we waited and waited for 2 weeks for Matt to get off the respirator, then the CPAP, then the cannulas, etc. Probably the longest and hardest two weeks of my life thus far. Finally, at the beginning of Feb. 2007, the tests were performed - a swallow study, a barium swallow test, a pH balance study, xrays, ultrasounds, CT scans, neurological studies, etc. A lot of tests and studies for our little guy.

One day, during all the tests, Dr. Hayward, Matt's neurologist, came to examine Matt. After a 5-10 minute examination, she gave me her thoughts. "Matt possibly has Cerebral Palsy from not breathing but we won't know for sure for 6 months!" she said. And then just as quickly as she said it, she left his room for a meeting. WHAT! You are going to launch this on me (again, I am alone at the hospital because Alan was at work) and then not stay to discuss it with me or make sure I was okay. I was understandably beyond devastated. How do you deal with this? What is going to happen to our lives and to Matt and to Kate? I just got over the CF diagnosis and now CP. I knew nothing about CP except the picture in my head of a child in a wheelchair that is very tense. Needless to say, Dr. Hayward was not my favorite doctor.

Immediately, I called Alan. He did some research and then got to the hospital as quickly as possible. Come to find out, CP is an injury to the brain and the results can differ from mild to severe. And according to Dr. Hayward (a day later), most likely Matt's would either be mild or nothing. So I thought maybe I could handle this! I mean I had no choice at that point - Matt is my baby boy and we will do what is necessary to help him. But first we had to deal with his pneumonia issues.

After a million (it seemed) tests, Matt was finally diagnosed with severe acid reflux. So severe that his esophagus had stomach acid in it constantly and no medicine was going to help the problem. Our only option was surgery ASAP - like found out late Tuesday night and surgery was scheduled for Thursday. Surgery went well and Matt had a feeding port in his stomach to vent the gas (he can't really burp or throw up now because of the surgery). BTW, the feeding port was taken out in April after being in for 8 weeks. Hurray!!

Back to the CP thing, so off to specialists and therapists and such. At one time, we were seeing 2 speech therapists, an occupational therapist and a physical therapist plus the surgeon, a pulmonologist, a gastroenterologist, and the neurologist. Some in Oakland, one in Fremont, some in Vallejo, and some in Fairfield. We waited and watched to see how Matt would respond. Things we thought were cute, like the ability to hold his head up early, were signs of rigidness and possible CP per the specialists. It was very exhausting, both emotionally and physically.

However, the light at the end of the tunnel, in our minds, was 6 months and it was getting closer. At that time, we were actually getting rid of specialists (done with the surgeon, the gastro dr., and 1 speech therapist). So when our June appointment came with Dr. Hayward. I remember being anxious and scared, thinking this could be it, but also hopeful because things were going well. At that appointment, though, we found out that we would have to wait to see if Matt would miss any milestones or not walk in order to do the MRI that would diagnose him. WHAT!!!! More time to wait, more therapists. I couldn't believe it. There was no way I could sit in limbo for another 6 months but again, I had no choice!

So after months of therapists and working with Matt to catch up (oh and a 12 month appointment with Dr. Hayward that continually got changed), Matt and I were to meet with her on February 12th at a NICU follow-up appointment. Matt had started walking and his therapists were very pleased with his progress (but no one would rule out CP still). So February 12th was here....

And just as swiftly as Dr. Hayward announced that Matt may have CP, she swooped into the exam room and determined he did NOT have CP (in a matter of minutes) and we were released from her care. So that's when I....
Exhaled...and Breathed a SIGH of relief!!

Now Matt can be a normal little toddler but with an extra little belly button. A scar to remind us and him how precious life is and what we have been through in the last year.